


What Witches Want

by LSUsweetie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fred Weasley Lives, HP UnHappily Ever After Fest 2020, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:36:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24464320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LSUsweetie/pseuds/LSUsweetie
Summary: What happens when George Weasley has a potions accident that enables him to hear the thoughts of any woman in his vicinity?My inspiration came from the old Mel Gibson movie titled, What Women Want.
Relationships: Angelina Johnson/George Weasley
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15
Collections: HP UnHappily Ever After Fest 2020





	What Witches Want

**Author's Note:**

> I stepped out of my comfort zone here. Typically, I write only the fluffiest fluff. If that's what you're looking for, please note that this story doesn't have a happy ending. This was written for the Unhappily Ever After fest. 
> 
> Thanks to my beta, Brandon Strayne! I appreciate your hard work polishing my story! Any leftover errors are my own.

“Bugger me!” George swore loudly as droplets of slimy, neon green potion rained down on him from the swirling, bubblegum pink cloud hovering just above his head. Glancing up at the cloud that was growing at an alarming rate, he quickly cast an Impervius on himself and everything around him. He wasn’t certain what had gone wrong, but clearly, the recipe wasn’t right yet. Exploding cauldrons that produced functioning rain clouds could be fun for laughs if they weren’t potentially damaging. 

Sighing, he contemplated how to make it all go away. The precipitation was still falling but was now a vivid aqua blue. If he attempted to vanish the cloud, it might grow larger, or blow up, or do any number of objectionable things. 

Closing his eyes, George rubbed at his temples. He wasn’t sure if the pounding in his head was a side effect of the accident or simply the stress of the situation. Desperately, he wished that Fred was here with him. They would figure it out, then have a good laugh. Unfortunately, he had to go it alone as his twin was currently out of the country and not due to come home until the following day.

To make matters worse, they had big plans for the next day. Fred was to return tomorrow, hopefully as an engaged man. Their mum had insisted upon a big family dinner to celebrate Fred’s homecoming. With the family conveniently assembled, his twin intended to announce his engagement. That was if all went to plan - George knew that there was absolutely no way that his twin’s witch would say no. 

As happy as he was for them, it made him question his own relationship. George had wanted to propose to Angelina for years, but she’d continually made it clear that she wasn’t ready to marry him. She’d constantly put him off, saying that she wanted to get her Quidditch career off the ground. Then, she wanted to wait until she’d made team captain. There always seemed to be a new excuse once each condition was reached. 

George shouldn’t have attempted anything experimental while he was alone and he knew it. It was just that he’d been feeling a bit broody and inventing always took his mind off of things. Not to mention, they’d nearly perfected truth potions. This one was only a slight deviation from their usual formula. They’d just needed a way to make it undetectable in the new sweet that they were calling Loose-lipped Liquorice.

Scrubbing his hands over his goop-covered face, George made a decision. They hadn’t created a successful joke shop without taking chances. He wasn’t spending the rest of the night with a fucking pink cloud raining on him. Brandishing his wand, he vanished the remnants of the failed potion. 

Holding his breath, George waited for something catastrophic to happen. When nothing did, he slumped against the workstation, exhaling loudly in relief. Deciding that he’d had quite enough excitement for one evening, he finished clearing up and headed up the stairs to the flat that he and Fred still shared.

After a lonely takeaway meal, he fell into bed and slept fitfully, strange dreams interrupting his sleep. When he woke the next morning, all he could remember was Luna Lovegood dressed in flowing white robes, her long blond hair whipping around her as a storm approached. Dream Luna repeated the same cryptic message over and over, “Love flourishes with pure intentions. The truths will be difficult. Trust the silence, with it comes a true heart.” 

Could the odd dreams have been the result of the potions accident? George couldn’t be sure. His dreams weren’t usually quite so disturbing, and they’d never featured Luna. Her presence was especially bizarre given that he hadn’t seen her in months. She was friends with Ginny and Hermione, but nearly always off on some expedition or another. Why had his conscious included her of all people? Writing it off as a fluke, he pushed it out of his mind, and got ready to open the shop for the day. 

Making his way downstairs, George was surprised to hear sounds coming from the back room. Not expecting anyone this early, he cautiously drew his wand as he went to investigate. Silently, he eased open the swinging door and came face to face with a laughing Fred. “Idiot! You knew I wasn’t expecting anyone. Why didn’t you come up?”

Fred shrugged. “It was early. Didn’t know if you would be up yet.”

Looking around, George asked, “Where’s Hermione? How did everything go?”

His twin’s grin was answer enough. The faraway expression and softly spoken, “Brilliant,” caused a lurch in George’s stomach. He wasn’t jealous - exactly. Honestly, he was overjoyed for Fred and Hermione, but he craved what they had together. Their relationship was real. They had ups and downs, but they worked as a team through any issues that arose and their love was obvious to anyone who knew them. That was precisely what he wanted for himself. 

Moving forward, George threw an arm around his brother, pounding him enthusiastically on the back. “Congratulations. I’m happy for you, truly, she’s perfect for you. You never answered though, where did Hermione go?”

Shaking his head and chuckling lightly, Fred answered. “She went to her flat. Said that she needed to rest a little before tonight. I’m too excited to rest, so I came here.” Waggling his eyebrows mischievously and rubbing his palms together, he added, “What do you say we take advantage of the staff not expecting me to be back yet? The old twin switcharoo is classic for a reason, yeah?”

Several hours later, Fred burst into the workroom laughing. Spotting George, he blurted out, “Lee caught on right away, but the rest of the staff is still clueless. They still aren’t expecting me to have returned. Want to head out there together, and have some fun seeing their reactions?”

As soon as they exited the back room, George heard a feminine voice over his left shoulder.  _ Yum, twins. Rich and sexy, I’d let them stick it anywhere they wanted.  _

Not believing what he’d heard, he glanced to see an attractive blonde innocently perusing the shelves. She was accompanied by a young boy who appeared to be no older than ten. The strange thing was that neither Fred nor the boy seemed to have heard her say anything. Fred was a little further away, but with his two good ears, he usually detected things that George couldn’t. 

Nudging his twin, he asked, “Did you hear what she said?”

Fred shot him a strange look. “What who said? No one said anything.”

Suspicious now, wondering if Fred had decided to prank him, but hoping that he wasn’t losing it, George followed his brother toward the counter where their young assistant, Will, stood ringing up a middle-aged woman. As they approached, he clearly heard the woman say,  _ What I wouldn’t give to be just ten years younger. I’d show those hotties a good time. _

When Fred failed to react again, George paid more attention to the woman. He could clearly hear words coming from her, but her mouth wasn’t moving at all. With a sinking feeling, he began to put together what must be happening, and unfortunately, he didn’t think his brother was responsible. 

Just then, a group of young women came into the shop chatting away about getting a prank gift for a coworker’s birthday. He could hear that conversation but he was also assaulted by the sound of what they weren’t saying…

_ I wonder if they like to share? _

_ Why are we even buying anything for that mega-bitch, Beth? Oooh, tall, fit, and two of them… Perhaps this is worth my time. _

_ Two sexy gingers... I’d dump my boyfriend for them. I bet they could give me an orgasm that I didn’t have to fake. _

He couldn’t take any more of this. Without a word to Fred, he turned and fled into the quiet sanctuary of the back room. Holding his head, he sank onto the battered sofa they’d put in there. What on earth was he supposed to do? How could he get through dinner that night if he could hear the thoughts of every witch around? 

The door banged open and he didn’t even bother to lift his head. He knew that Fred had come to find him. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, I didn’t mention it because I thought until a few minutes ago that there had been no issues, but I had a little potions accident last night. I was testing a theory I had about the truth potion that we need for those new sweets, but it failed pretty spectacularly. Set a bloody cloud raining on me...”

“Are you alright?” George glanced up now, and seeing the worried expression on his twin’s face, he pasted on what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Physically, I’m perfectly fine. However, if we don’t find a way to fix this soon, I may lose my bleeding mind.” Lifting his head, he met Fred’s worried gaze. “I can hear every fucking thought from any woman around. All those ladies out there, yeah, I could hear what they were thinking and it’s exhausting.”

xXx

Later that evening, as George dressed and waited for Angelina to arrive at the flat above the shop, he attempted to prepare himself for the gathering. The normal volume of a celebration combined with the mental assault that was sure to happen when he had to discern when women were speaking from when they were simply thinking loudly, it was a daunting thought. 

At ten minutes until seven, George Floo called Angelina’s flat. He huffed in annoyance as he waited impatiently for someone to come to the Floo. She was supposed to have been there already. They were going to be late. It was only dinner at the Burrow, but his mum wouldn’t be happy if he was late. Angie’s roommate answered and gave him a confused look when he asked where she was. He was quickly told, “Angie said that she was meeting you there. She said she told you. Don’t you remember?”

George pulled his head out of the fire and sighed deeply before standing and absentmindedly brushing the bits of ash from his trousers. This apparent miscommunication between them was happening more and more frequently. There were many times that Angelina swore that she’d told him about an event that she couldn’t attend with him or that she was going to be late, but he couldn’t remember ever having those conversations with her. He’d blown it off, of course, chalked it up to him being busy at work, or other similar excuses, but he’d recently realised that he didn’t seem to have the same lapses with other people and it made him wonder if she was the one who was forgetting... or lying for some reason. 

Now wasn’t the time to think about that though, he had to get to the Burrow. For the first time in his life, George wasn’t looking forward to being around everyone. He just wanted a quiet night at home. He’d well and truly cocked up this time and he wished that there was a way to fix it before he ruined Fred’s big night. 

Flooing to the Burrow, George was relieved to see that the small family gathering that they’d planned hadn’t grown into something larger. Fred knew that Hermione would want a chance to announce their engagement to just the family first, so they’d planned on a dinner with just the Weasleys, their significant others, and a couple of carefully selected friends. 

Looking around, George saw that he was the last to arrive except for Angelina. After a round of hugs and other greetings, he took his seat next to Fred. Soon, his heart gave a quick, joyful lurch when he realised that although several women were present, he couldn’t hear anyone’s thoughts. Looking around, he took in the faces of his mum, sister, sisters in law, Hermione, and Luna. Focussing on each of them he tried to listen to see if he could hear anything that one of them wasn’t verbalising, and he couldn’t hear a blessed thing. 

Thank Merlin, it must be over. The potion must have only needed twenty-four hours to wear off. Before he could fully process his relief, his mum had put the food on the table and was telling everyone to help themselves. Nudging Fred, he quietly asked, “When’s the big announcement?” 

Fred grinned at him in response, answering, “Before dessert. I bought champagne.”

Before he could acknowledge his brother’s words, the Floo roared to life and Angelina entered the room. George’s heart seemed to stop. Struggling to keep his composure, he watched as she greeted everyone with a bright smile on her face. “Hello everyone, sorry I’m late. I got held up with my team.”

The, obviously, practised smile that Angelina sent in George’s direction as she took her seat next to him was in direct contrast to the utter filth that her mind was spewing…  _ Look at that one-eared freak, how could I ever think that he could be a proper substitute for my Freddie. I should have never gone along with it when they explained the situation after the Yule Ball. Fred was my date, not George, but back then they at least looked the same so I could pretend. Ugh! How can Freddie stand that little swot? He should want ME! I could show him how a real woman would treat him. _

Coaching himself to _ keep it together  _ as a loud rushing noise filled his ears, George decided that he would have to be just as good at acting as she apparently was. He was still unsure how he would make it through this dinner, but George was certain that he needed a plan. Thankfully, years of experience in devising and executing pranks on the fly helped him to keep his wits in a swiftly deteriorating situation. 

Forcing a genuine-looking grin in the direction of his soon to be ex-girlfriend, George brushed a kiss against her cheek as his stomach roiled in protest. “How was practice?”

“It was fine. Coach made us all stay late. Some of the team needed extra work before the game tomorrow.” Then with a neutral expression on her face, she began to load up her plate as George heard her thoughts loud and clear.  _ Practice did run a bit late, but coach is an excellent fuck and I do have to ensure my spot as team captain again for next year. At least when I’m fucking him I don’t have to worry that I’ll call out his brother’s name when I climax.” _

  
  


As dinner went on, George learned more and more interesting tidbits. The more he learned, the more nauseous he felt. How on earth could he have been this blind? Oh, right, he had been in love with her, and then when the little clues that things weren’t just right started popping up, he dismissed them because he had convinced himself that she was the witch for him.

He knew that he was failing at his attempt to act natural when Fred covertly leaned in and asked, “Is everything alright? You’re too quiet.”

“Yeah, just a bit of a headache. That thing with the potion is still happening. It’s a little overwhelming.”

Fred nodded in understanding. “If you need to leave…”

“No,” George cut him off, “I’m okay.”

Glancing back over, he saw that Angelina hadn’t noticed the exchange between himself and Fred. She’d barely looked up from her plate. There’d been nothing in her outward appearance to indicate her true feelings. Unable to stand the sight of her any longer, George looked away, inadvertently meeting Luna’s eyes. She was watching him curiously with a knowing gaze from her seat on the other side of Angelina. Briefly, George wondered why he couldn’t hear the thoughts of Luna or any of the other witches who were in the room. His musings were interrupted again by vicious ramblings from Angelina’s mind. Just when he decided that he may need to excuse himself for a few moments, Luna caught his attention. She gave him the tiniest wink, then turned to Angelina, drawing her into a conversation. 

Regarding the witch sitting next to him thoughtfully, George questioned why he had ignored all the signs that had been obvious all along. She’d been continually showing him who she was and he had dutifully overlooked the evidence. He had to stop himself from gasping aloud when he came to the conclusion that she’d been gaslighting him as well. How could he have been such a fool? He was usually smarter than this. Why had he trusted her so blindly?

George’s angst was momentarily replaced by amusement when Angelina began to mentally lament Luna’s proximity.  _ Merlin’s hairy ballsack, I shouldn’t have come tonight. I should have made up some excuse. Loony would have to be next to me. Daft bitch. Ugh! Why couldn’t I have been seated between Fred and George? At least I could sit next to my Freddie then. _

It may have been a tad bit petty, but he delighted in her discomfort. Not that she deserved less for the amount of pain and despair that she’d caused him in just the short time since she’d arrived that evening. He still needed a plan, but he was aware that he needed to have all his wits about him when he formulated that plan. It was going to have to wait until he could be alone in his flat later. He just hoped that Fred didn’t decide to announce his blunder and the effects of the potion after the engagement news was revealed. It wouldn't do for Angelina to know what was coming.

Finally, dinner was over and pudding was being served. Before anyone could lift their forks for a bite of the delicious cake, Fred was quickly rising, pulling Hermione up to stand next to him. Fred said, “We have an announcement to make.”

George was unable to hear another word that his twin said due to the onslaught of vitriol that spewed from Angelina.  _ No! No! No! What is it going to take to make him choose me? Why the fuck did I ever settle for the earless wonder in the first place? I’ve been so stupid. Fred’s been following some stupid brother rule and feels he has to settle for little miss perfect because he thinks he can’t have me. Maybe I’ll just have to make sure that George and the damn Gryffindor Princess have an unfortunate accident.  _

At that, George’s blood ran cold. He drew in a shocked breath. His heart thundered against his chest and he tasted blood, having bit nearly clean through the end of his tongue in an attempt not to lay into the evil bitch next to him. He couldn’t believe that she would be willing to take things that far. How could he have ever thought he loved someone who was capable of even thinking such monstrous thoughts?

Remembering that he had a part to play, George pasted on a smile, and with skin that had gone clammy, he rose to congratulate Fred and Hermione. After that was done, he risked a glance at Angelina and saw that she was clutching her stomach. Fixing what he hoped was a sympathetic look on his face, he asked, “What’s wrong?”

With very real tears filling her eyes and threatening to stream down her cheeks, Angelina answered in a broken, breathless voice, “Sorry, not feeling well, I’ll owl you tomorrow. Then, with a quick and unconvincing, “congratulations,” tossed in the direction of the happy couple, she ran into the next room. Soon, they could clearly hear the Floo roaring to life, and George knew that she was gone. 

Noticing the speculative looks in his direction, George merely shook his head before turning to look pointedly at Fred and Hermione. “Well, I for one think we need a toast. It’s not every day that my twin announces that he’s marrying the gorgeous, brilliant, witch of his dreams.”

After they’d all enjoyed their champagne and cake, Fred demanded answers. Leaning in, Fred murmured, “Let’s go outside so you can tell me what the bloody hell just happened.”

Resigned, George shook his head. “No, everyone needs to hear this.” He hadn’t planned on telling anyone until he realised how unhinged Angelina really was. Even though he wasn’t certain that the danger was real, they all deserved to know. 

  
  


xXx

Things had moved swiftly after that. Ginny used her connections in the Quidditch League to make sure that Angelina would be caught in a compromising situation with her coach. That was enough to ensure that they would both lose their jobs if they didn’t take the deal that they were offered. Relationships between coaches and players were forbidden. Since information obtained using Legillimancy wasn’t admissible in court, it was the only thing they could do to make sure they had something on her. 

Angelina had been stubbornly refusing the offer of being traded to an American Quidditch team—together with a promise that she would never return to England again—when Fred and George both entered the room and asked to speak to her. Ginny had quickly led the Quidditch officials from the room, as planned, knowing that the twins needed to do this. 

George wished he had a Pensieve to remember the look on Angelina’s face when they explained exactly what they knew and how they knew it. Tears streamed down her face as Fred told her in a cold, clipped voice that he would never consider being with her, no matter the circumstances. George relished her regretful thoughts as they turned and walked from the room without a backward glance. 

A few hours later, Ginny and Harry had dropped by to let them know that she’d taken the deal. Ginny had called upon her husband to use his Auror privileges to ensure that Angelina was gone as soon as possible. They’d personally taken her to her flat and waited while she packed her things. Then, they escorted her to the Portkey office and waited until she’d been whisked away to America. They explained to the twins that after they left, Angelina seemed much less sure of herself and had been more than willing to allow Harry to expedite things. 

xXx

Sighing dejectedly, George removed the returned letter from the little owl’s leg—it was the one that he’d addressed to Luna and sent off more than once over the past months. He’d been attempting to contact the whimsical blonde since the infamous dinner six months ago at The Burrow. Unfortunately, she’d left on some expedition to find a likely nonexistent creature and wasn’t able to be tracked down by owl post. Ripping the parchment in frustration, he tossed it in the bin and fell back on the sofa, covering his face with his hands. 

The dreams that featured Luna and her cryptic message still plagued him. He’d hoped that she could give him some answers since she’d been oddly perceptive in helping to distract Angelina, “that night.” 

George Weasley was now a shell of the man he once was. Constantly trying to tell the difference between verbalised conversation and a random witch’s thoughts had him hiding out in the backroom every day at work. He was also avoiding public places and social events. He’d tried dating a few times, but hearing the vapid thoughts of an otherwise appealing witch was a huge turn-off. Taking a chance on a suggestion from Fred and Hermione, he’d ventured into the Muggle world a few times, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to hear the thoughts of Muggle women. Unfortunately, that had been a failure as well. Their thoughts came through just as loudly as those of witches. 

An extroverted being by nature, George was depressed and discontented by not being able to socialise freely with other people. Staring into space listlessly, he wondered if they would ever be able to reverse the effects of the potion. Melancholy overwhelmed him as he prepared to spend yet another Friday night alone in his flat. Fred and Hermione always offered to include him, and he knew that they were sincere in their invitations, but he couldn’t bring himself to continually be the third wheel. 

  
Regret filled George as he contemplated what his life had become. If only he hadn’t wasted so much precious time on a witch who would have never loved him. Maybe he would have been settled with a lovely, wonderful woman when this accident happened if he hadn’t been so stupid. Even knowing that constantly wondering  _ what if _ was turning him into a miserable human, he couldn’t help himself. He was consumed by bitterness and hopelessness as he wished for a life that could have been. 


End file.
